11th Anal Toys for Tots/Green Dress Hash

The 11th anal Toys for Tots Green Dress Hash is now over and the assorted weirdos and miscreants who assembled for this august affair donated a total of 38 presents to the Toys for Tots campaign. In addition, through generous cash donations from NFHN Mike P. (dude, when are you actually going to run trail?) and our esteemed No Cocky Bukake, we also collected $60 to go to TforT. I added $40 from hash cash for a total of $100 for the kiddies.

Also, it should be noted, generous hashers donated a half-bottle of Polish vodka, $10 cash and a necklace(?) to the homeless. This fine gift was left outside his/her palatial cardboard condo beneath the Hollister Highway bridge. This spontaneous gift -- and the sacrifice of the spirts -- shows the true meaning of Xmas.

Thanks to all.

Also, proving the holiday spirt works both ways, the assorted hashers in attendance were somehow able to consume two kegs of Yuengling while running a particularly heinous 3-mile-or-so trail, as well as drink a fifth of Evan Williams egg nog, half of the fifth of the aforementioned Polish vodka, and an assortment of about 20 mini bottles containing assorted alcoholic beverages. This was in addition to candy canes, chocolates and other goodies. God bless you all and I hope you've sobered up by now.

Again, it was a merry, merry Xmas for the Upstate Hash House Harriers, and hopefully, for the kids we've helped.

Stay tuned, our only other charitable effort of the year -- the 11th annual Save the Ta-Tas Red Dress Run -- a benefit to prevent breast cancer will be held on or about Feb. 14, 2009. We have brand new challenges, features and more for this event.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled debauchery, such as the New Year's Day Hash on, of course, Jan. 1 and led by Needle Thruster.

11th Green Dress Hash

Date: Dec. 14th, 2008
Location: The Greenville Ghetto (otherwise known as Old Buncombe Road area)
Hares: Daily Newd, Pole Dancer, Grandpa Yank My Dick
BTD: Toys for Twats
Attendance: A little less than 50

Well Santa allowed four of his favorite helper elves...check that hares, to take a holiday from their busy toymaking duties at the North Pole to come down to Greenville's most picturesque ghetto for our time honored tradition of laying trail for hashers in dresses made of green. A nice turnout the hashers were greeted by a cold afternoon breeze that was so cold not even a couple layers and spandex could keep them warm. However after a couple of cups of the sacred amber fluid and the hashers seemed ready to go. Thanks to some persistence, Daily Newd encouraged a few virgins to tag along for the festivities. As the hashers listened to the all important chalk talk, it was noted by this self-appointed Hash-fashion guru that the creativity level for this year's green dress was top notch. From the spring-summer frocks to the wrapping paper dresses to the green "bling" earrings to Toys for Twats' ....outfit, I mean dress...I mean unitard. I am pretty sure that was not a green dress, but I think I speak for all of the male hashers by saying "I don't care".

Apparantly in the eyes of the hares, the hashers had been good little boys and girls this year because Santa's helpers left presents along the trail for the harriers to discover and consume before moving on. Some of these presents were delicious, like the bottle of Southern Comfort Egg Nog...some were in a word....Gross! Where were our good Polish hahsers when we needed them??? The hashers struggled to polish off the cheap rubbing alcohol disguised as vodka but found delight in the other gifts such as flavored mini-bottles and Hershey's Kisses. The trail was lined with the usual shiggy...briars, count backs, YBF's, and Red Headed Slut's least favorite thing of all...fences. The hashers met some interesting people along trail, which is par for the course too. This time instead of being confronted by actual law enforcement, it was a Rent-A-Cop posing as security for Greenville County Schools. It's rather ironic that security for Greenville County Schools would be protecting and monitoring an abadoned, condemned school instead of the open ones. At circle, Pablo the dog finally got a name, there were many hash crimes and Straight Up Nasty got re-named!....again! The circle passed a new rule that when Straight Up Nasty....now known as....Cums In-frequently shows up for hashes, she gets renamed. If she does come to future hashes...I don't know how we can improve on perfection. I attached some evidence of the mayham from yesterday in the form of photographs.

The next hash will be on New Year's Day...some cum ring in 2009 with your favorite people....if you can drag yourself out of whatever hole you crash in on New Year's Eve, of course.

And that's the way I saw it. Until next time...