Hares: Seven Seconds and Open Leg Rock Her
Harriers: Daily Newd, Rug Doctor, Pole Dancer, Titty Titty Gang Bang,
No Cocky Bukakke, TMI, Prom Queen, Chair Banger, NFHN Jarret, NFHN
Mahalia, Just Reed, Just Andrew, Just Dave,
The Upstate Hash House Harriers pulled on some red dresses on a sunny
Greenville afternoon to hold one of hashings most sacred events.
Seven Seconds and Open Leg Rock Her cajoled a larger than normal group
of hashers to the top of Richardson Street Parking Garage to start the
ordeal. Leaving a half hour later per tradition, they made their way
down Richardson Street and were out of sight.
The pack eventually went to look for the hares, and quickly got lost.
I mean real lost. A pack has never been confused like this one. While
the true ran in a sorta straight line down Richardson Street the pack
went left into a church, then right into a parking garage, then turned
around to go back the way they came.
Eventually someone found the true trail into another church parking
lot, but again the pack got lost. After more searching, cursing and
general anger, they found the trail that led through a Bi-Lo parking
lot and into McPherson Park.
Confused as anything by this time, the pack wandered through the park
until someone noticed some powder on a drainage ditch. Seven Seconds
and Open Leg Rock Her had found a sewage tunnel underneath Academy (a
first for subterranean hashing/beer stoppage) for beer stop No. 1.
After much bitching about the trail and drinking, the hares left
again. The pack left soon afterward, and per tradition again got lost
trying to find the trail. Thankfully, someone hopped a fence into a
cemetery and found the trail. Unthankfully, there was a funeral in
progress.
The trail led from the cemetery through the Bi-Lo Center parking lot,
across East North Street and into a parking garage on West Washington
Street for the second beer stop.
The hares split at this time so OLR could drive a car to the next beer
stop, and Seven Seconds started the trail by cutting through some
under-demolition apartments (still going with the homeless abode
theme). The pack hobbled out a little later and soon followed a trail
through some major shaggy (including treacherous downhill sections),
and then toward the West End. After some nice directional changes, the
pack crossed the Liberty Bridge (ruining many a family photo
opportunity) and into the West End where they found the hares behind
the infamous Chicora Alley…a bar that is now on the banned list due to
Daily Newd’s antics at the previous O-limpik Mile.
of the beer mile, which took place right at this beer stop. To sooth
nerves, and arouse others, OLR semi-successfully demonstrated her Hula-
Hoop form with a HH that was found on trail. After a quick stop, the
hares took off one last time for the final leg. Down Academy, Up McBee
and a wandering jog along Main Street found bystanders cheering, “Yall
are hashers aren’t Yaw?” Up the elevator to floor No. 7 the pack
finally found the hares with a circle prepared and beers and wine to
drink. It wouldn’t have been a hash without a couple crimes, a couple
“If one hare drinks . . all hares drink” and of course the obligatory
Red Dress Fashion show who I believe was won by the Gay Nome – TMI.
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